I instantly picked up the latest issue of a leading Indian current affairs magazine and read through an article on Urban Career Women. I wondered if the article had something new to say. Alas! The same old cliché’s on how the Indian woman is doing it all. Work, Career, Play, Shopping, Diamonds, Yoga, Kids, Husband, In-laws, ayahs, nannies etc. Oh! The list we women handle is so immense. Supposed to be empowering to women that we handle this list. Personally the list tires me.

COVER STORY: THE COMPLETE WOMAN
Mistress Of Choices
Work, home and play. The urban Indian woman has become adept at multi-tasking, and as she redefines career goals, she is also nipping and tucking her relationships. Will she be the alpha mom, the beta career girl or a complete blend of both?

The last few days, I have been introspective wondering how best I can realize my potential while making a career. I have a few constraints though, I am an army wife (fauji wife), and so I could be living my life away in small town India for the most part. I want to have babies, but suffer from an incompetent cervix, so my pregnancy demands a moderate bed-rest. So you see my career cannot the priority.

But letting go of my career is sort of making me fearful - I will have to battle ageism and sexism even after a year’s break! I have seen a woman (also a dear friend) being relegated from a Manager’s position, because she had taken a break for 2 years, was in her late 30’s and wasn’t adept at using email. Technology and age are ever changing.

I want to conquer that fear! I want to realize my life is going to be just fine without the title of career woman. This brings me back to the concept of a “Career Woman” - a title, which is sometimes elusive even to the most talented, most educated, and smartest of women. It is an urban legend (of sorts). Reason – We haven’t clearly defined who is a career woman?

In most articles on "Career Women" we often find only a certain kind of educated lady professional termed as a career woman - The corporate banker, the writer, the lawyer, the social activist, fashion designer, doctor, engineer etc.

Are the women working as secretaries, receptionists, kindergarten teachers, nurses, industrial worker and those million of mid-level jobs in the private and public sector not qualified professional women? To me all women who work and generate an income are career women.

We all work for a variety of reasons, ambition and money being the primary motivators, followed by self-realization, self-worth and self-respect. For the large part working for women is a hard road because we also take care of home and hearth. Over time money becomes the sole-motivation and ambition takes a back seat. Family becomes the priority. We don't care about our intelligence and education - that won't stop us from missing our babies, we don't care about being the boss, because we want to leave on-time to pick up kids and prepare the dinner.

So how does a "Career woman" do it all? Compromising on her talent, spending her hard-earned money on day-care facilities and every morning running out of the door into what we call a career.

This alpha mom, beta career girl is an urban legend. It is only going to create pressure on us women folk. If you want a career go for it, make the best use of your talent and education without the guilt. If you need the money a career will help. If you want to stay home because you can afford to, is also a choice.

Let the media not make issues or articles of our personal women choices. They hardly do anything to empower our roles as home makers or career women. In fact they question our performance on the roles that we play.

The working environment is a man's soccer field. It is unfair for them to call us in and not give us the advantage point. Advantage points like office day care for kids, sabbaticals, trainings, flexi-time schedules, management level jobs, education leave etc (these would be good for Dads too). The biggest advantage point would be to acknowledge that we women sometimes need to walk away from the field to take care of personal business like domesticity, pregnancy, toddler care, sickness or an aging parent. At this point we need appreciation for the social role that we play and of course we want to be taken back into the career field should we choose to.

I hope we women never feel pressured to perform to Alpha Mom or Beta career girl. We are mere mortal women trying to put butter on our slices of uneven bread.

I have never believed in the alpha male or beta career man. He has his own set of issues as well. We women have choices, but men have one choice, a comfortable one – of career alone.