Wednesday, May 31, 2006
A Comment from Gillian - Mothercraft
This was a comment posted by Gillian, my sister-in-law, who is Australian, she seems keen on exloring the cultural differences in "mothercraft" practices in Australia and India.
Possible topic: - Any comments on mothercraft practices? With Immanuel sick these last few days it has been interesting to see similarities and differences in how mother's (and especially the health professionals) in India and Australia approach child sickness. Also, generally how families interact - what is the role of the mother and father, husband and wife and who should look after the child, what the child's role is (if any) in the family.
These questions also come up in films like Water (watched yesterday with Sharon and Emelia while Immanuel got some much needed sleep) where children are married off without even knowing, and John Abraham's character makes the comment that his father beleived in children being children or somehting to that effect. To me it seems the point of the film is to apply reasoning and responsibity to our actions even if we need to do so in the face of traditional practies.
From my observations within my own family, and from my husbands and the wider multi-cultural community in Australia, I beleive that the parents have such an important role to play in how they teach their children values and their future roles. In particular I think that mothers, as women, need to be aware of how they teach both their sons and daughters what a woman's role is. For example, many mothers in the Italian immigrant community in Australia spoil their sons rotten, not allowing them to lift a finger to help around the house or in the kitchen, and demand that their daughters do this instead. This teaches the daughters that their role is to keep men happy, and the sons also learn this is the role of the women. In many cases the sons do not appreciate the work of their mothers and sisters and do not learn respect for these women in their lives or understand the work involved in maintaining a house and looking after children. Apart from the expectations that the son carries into his next relationships, he also does not learn to be responsible for himself, and this limits him capcity as a human in many areas of his life.
While this has been very simply summarised, and each family is obviously different it saddens me to see in films and in my own family how children reap the rewards of parents failure to address relationship inequalities in their roles as husband and wife and parents lack of forethought in teaching their children the individual value of each person and the need to respect everybody, whether male or female -
I beleive that children need respect and responsibility and need to learn this also, whether girls or boys. The hope is that while each generation inherits patterns of relationships from their parents, they also have the opportunity to improve on them. I think I strayed from the mothercraft topic, but I would like to make a comment on mothercraft, that while we can learn valuable practices from our parents and especially mothers, and should value and appreciate their knowledge and experience, we must also be careful not to take this information for granted and be able to apply their knowledge in conjunction with our own; there are reasons for particular mothercraft practices that do not apply to current circumstances and may instead be harmful. On the other hand there are practises that will always be applicable, even if they have not been scientifically validated. The maxim that "mothers know best" is not always right and places the mothers knowledge and experience above reasoning, perhaps it would better be said that "mothers know a lot of things"!
Enough of my own comments - hope to see some of yours!
******
I hope for some of you to give me your comments on "Mothercraft Practices".
Possible topic: - Any comments on mothercraft practices? With Immanuel sick these last few days it has been interesting to see similarities and differences in how mother's (and especially the health professionals) in India and Australia approach child sickness. Also, generally how families interact - what is the role of the mother and father, husband and wife and who should look after the child, what the child's role is (if any) in the family.
These questions also come up in films like Water (watched yesterday with Sharon and Emelia while Immanuel got some much needed sleep) where children are married off without even knowing, and John Abraham's character makes the comment that his father beleived in children being children or somehting to that effect. To me it seems the point of the film is to apply reasoning and responsibity to our actions even if we need to do so in the face of traditional practies.
From my observations within my own family, and from my husbands and the wider multi-cultural community in Australia, I beleive that the parents have such an important role to play in how they teach their children values and their future roles. In particular I think that mothers, as women, need to be aware of how they teach both their sons and daughters what a woman's role is. For example, many mothers in the Italian immigrant community in Australia spoil their sons rotten, not allowing them to lift a finger to help around the house or in the kitchen, and demand that their daughters do this instead. This teaches the daughters that their role is to keep men happy, and the sons also learn this is the role of the women. In many cases the sons do not appreciate the work of their mothers and sisters and do not learn respect for these women in their lives or understand the work involved in maintaining a house and looking after children. Apart from the expectations that the son carries into his next relationships, he also does not learn to be responsible for himself, and this limits him capcity as a human in many areas of his life.
While this has been very simply summarised, and each family is obviously different it saddens me to see in films and in my own family how children reap the rewards of parents failure to address relationship inequalities in their roles as husband and wife and parents lack of forethought in teaching their children the individual value of each person and the need to respect everybody, whether male or female -
I beleive that children need respect and responsibility and need to learn this also, whether girls or boys. The hope is that while each generation inherits patterns of relationships from their parents, they also have the opportunity to improve on them. I think I strayed from the mothercraft topic, but I would like to make a comment on mothercraft, that while we can learn valuable practices from our parents and especially mothers, and should value and appreciate their knowledge and experience, we must also be careful not to take this information for granted and be able to apply their knowledge in conjunction with our own; there are reasons for particular mothercraft practices that do not apply to current circumstances and may instead be harmful. On the other hand there are practises that will always be applicable, even if they have not been scientifically validated. The maxim that "mothers know best" is not always right and places the mothers knowledge and experience above reasoning, perhaps it would better be said that "mothers know a lot of things"!
Enough of my own comments - hope to see some of yours!
******
I hope for some of you to give me your comments on "Mothercraft Practices".
Comments
I can tell you from my experiences that much of what you say is true in America too. Italian mothers overall do to much for their children. My mother worked so hard when I was young, and she made me, the only female child do nothing. My 3 brothers didn't have to do anything either. As we grew we took on jobs, not because she asked, but because we realized how hard she worked. I now realize that I am no different than my mother, or either of my grandmothers. I work very hard and will rarely ask my now grown daughters to help. I know the oldest is already functioning just like me and she is 23. Does the chain ever break??????????
Ciao
Mothercraft!!! :)))
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