I am curious to understand cultures and learn more about them. As a traveller and a student of culture you learn so much more about the world. So when I recently travelled to Australia for Cecil’s (my brothers) wedding to Gillian, I learned a lot about Australian culture. What a way of life – Multicultural, Outdoors, Sporty, Friendly and a genuine curiosity to learn about other people’s culture.

The highlight of my trip was the wedding – Gillian is Maltese + Australian and Cecil, Indian. The wedding was attended by friends and relatives of 15 different nationalities. At the reception we all danced to Bhangra (Punjabi Indian dance) and English dance music. It was fantastic, to watch the Ozzies dance to Bhangra!



Gillian recently emailed:

Well I got onto your blog today and I have too much to say! One thing
is glaringly missing from your blog and that is your experience in Australia and comments on cross-cultural romances that are very close to home!

Sometimes we don’t realize that all cultures have much more in common than we think. I realized that the Maltese are family-loving people. Their language has its roots in Arabic. I think the Australians are open to other cultures. They are proud of being multicultural.

I visited the Immigration museum in Melbourne and was astounded that they had diaries, models of ships, tools and home weaving machines, textiles, tribute garden, family and wedding pictures inscriptions of late 18th century to early 21st century immigrants. They even restored a ship that bought in early immigrants. They even had recordings of immigration officers refusing people entry to Australia.

Excitement, Fear Disappointment, relief, A container full of belongings. A single suitcase. A ship’s dock. An airport lounge. Surrounded by family. Stepping out alone.

(From a wall plaque)

I got a free ticket to the museum, because I am a student of Indian Diasporic film and was escorted around by, Michael, of Maltese origin. Unfortunately they didn’t have much on the Indian diaspora in spite of the huge Indian population there. Hopefully one day I can go back there add to the already rich museum.

I might even suggest a “Diaspora museum” here in India on the same lines. Indians have set out far and wide to seek their fortunes and build a life. Each of them has a story to tell and a few belongings that they could share for posterity. Should I be the pioneer of a Diaspora museum in India?

For now, I think Gillian and Cecil should write their love story and send pictures to the Immigration museum. It would be a heart-warming multi-culti love story.

These summer days the market is filled with fresh jasmine and the smell is slight and feminine, at times strong. I don't buy the flowers, because they are meant to be stringed together and worn on the hair. I am impatient to do that, the malaise of the urban Indian woman.

When I see women wearing stringed flowers, I just think how feminine. Most Indian women are not fashionable, most of her dressing is for comfort and the rest are essentials. But once in a while there will be an added accessory - the flowers in her hair. For Indian brides the bridal corsage is a must.



For long Indian women, have taken pride in the long black hair. They oil it regularly, wash it with shikakai (soap nuts)/shampoo,braid it or tie it in ribbons if they are little girls. Of course now we have hair in highlights/various hues/styled/non-greasy oils/gels etc. But the one hairstyle that will always endure to us, Indians, especially the men, is the long plait. Better still if it has flowers in it. It means she is traditional and holds the Indian women ideal.

Hair, is considered one of the most beautiful and erotic part of a woman.It also reveals personality. Primitive and ancient cultures have loved hair with flowers in it. Hair has always been part of human evolution and adorning it became a part of human evolutionary culture. So when I see that that some Indian women, more from the South still follow that ritual, I think we Indians do have a beauty culture of our own. Even Thai and Hawaiian women wear flowers in their hair!

Flowers have been worn for personal adornment throughout recorded history. Their purpose has been for both beautification and ceremony. Earliest uses in ancient Greece varied from single flowers worn in the hair as a personal touch to crowns of flowers and foliage for the head of both men and women as a symbol of achievement. The practice is also observed in very diverse cultures, as in the centuries-old wearing of leis and hair flowers by South Pacific women. At other times in history the wearing of flowers was as much or more for fragrance as visual beauty in the belief the fragrance would help ward off disease. Today the emphasis is specifically on personal beauty as the flowers enhance the appearance of the wearer and the apparel, with the bonus of an uplift for the wearer's spirit and inner beauty.

I have just changed careers, from the industry I am now going to be an academician.
At the Loyola Academy in Secunderabad. Will be teaching 3 topics: Human Communcation, Film Studies and Corporate Communications.

My salary is going to be 2/3rds of my current salary. But to be intellectually alive and watch young people unfold before me this is hardly a price.

This will also allow me to go back to my Ph.d. Now for my guide to accept that.

I saw two pictures in the last two weeks: one was the slick , enigmatic, V For Vendetta and the other was the youthful, Rang De Basanti. I liked both films. Forget the critical eye, I was energized by the messages within the bigger picture, literally. They appealed to the "idealism" that never ceases to exist in me. Like I said films have a very profound effect on me. An art form we enjoy collectively as a society.

I'll spare you the story and plot, suffice to say both the movies were about histories repeating itself, revenge and the state. Both the movies, used, "Violence" and "Anarchy" to seek out revenge on their governments. The violence was justified, I thought, but only within the context of the movies. I like my heroes winning over the bad guys.

Like they say, art imitates life, even if the quote were vice versa, it bothers me to think that we are turning violent and creating anarchy to get our Governments to recognize us ordinary citizens.

Personally I abhor violence/destruction, it hardly improves a situation. I love revolutions though. Peaceful ones! Blacks, Indians, non-violence! Most of us ordinary Indians are smart enough not to proclaim ideologies, like leftist, right-wing, democratic, socialist,libertarian - they confuse us. But one thing we all know for sure is we need more idealism and a government that is accountable to you and me. (the link directs you to a coverage of the Jessica Lal murder case)

Once in a while movies remind us that we should have the balls to tackle our governments! (Sans guyfawks masks!)

I instantly picked up the latest issue of a leading Indian current affairs magazine and read through an article on Urban Career Women. I wondered if the article had something new to say. Alas! The same old cliché’s on how the Indian woman is doing it all. Work, Career, Play, Shopping, Diamonds, Yoga, Kids, Husband, In-laws, ayahs, nannies etc. Oh! The list we women handle is so immense. Supposed to be empowering to women that we handle this list. Personally the list tires me.

COVER STORY: THE COMPLETE WOMAN
Mistress Of Choices
Work, home and play. The urban Indian woman has become adept at multi-tasking, and as she redefines career goals, she is also nipping and tucking her relationships. Will she be the alpha mom, the beta career girl or a complete blend of both?

The last few days, I have been introspective wondering how best I can realize my potential while making a career. I have a few constraints though, I am an army wife (fauji wife), and so I could be living my life away in small town India for the most part. I want to have babies, but suffer from an incompetent cervix, so my pregnancy demands a moderate bed-rest. So you see my career cannot the priority.

But letting go of my career is sort of making me fearful - I will have to battle ageism and sexism even after a year’s break! I have seen a woman (also a dear friend) being relegated from a Manager’s position, because she had taken a break for 2 years, was in her late 30’s and wasn’t adept at using email. Technology and age are ever changing.

I want to conquer that fear! I want to realize my life is going to be just fine without the title of career woman. This brings me back to the concept of a “Career Woman” - a title, which is sometimes elusive even to the most talented, most educated, and smartest of women. It is an urban legend (of sorts). Reason – We haven’t clearly defined who is a career woman?

In most articles on "Career Women" we often find only a certain kind of educated lady professional termed as a career woman - The corporate banker, the writer, the lawyer, the social activist, fashion designer, doctor, engineer etc.

Are the women working as secretaries, receptionists, kindergarten teachers, nurses, industrial worker and those million of mid-level jobs in the private and public sector not qualified professional women? To me all women who work and generate an income are career women.

We all work for a variety of reasons, ambition and money being the primary motivators, followed by self-realization, self-worth and self-respect. For the large part working for women is a hard road because we also take care of home and hearth. Over time money becomes the sole-motivation and ambition takes a back seat. Family becomes the priority. We don't care about our intelligence and education - that won't stop us from missing our babies, we don't care about being the boss, because we want to leave on-time to pick up kids and prepare the dinner.

So how does a "Career woman" do it all? Compromising on her talent, spending her hard-earned money on day-care facilities and every morning running out of the door into what we call a career.

This alpha mom, beta career girl is an urban legend. It is only going to create pressure on us women folk. If you want a career go for it, make the best use of your talent and education without the guilt. If you need the money a career will help. If you want to stay home because you can afford to, is also a choice.

Let the media not make issues or articles of our personal women choices. They hardly do anything to empower our roles as home makers or career women. In fact they question our performance on the roles that we play.

The working environment is a man's soccer field. It is unfair for them to call us in and not give us the advantage point. Advantage points like office day care for kids, sabbaticals, trainings, flexi-time schedules, management level jobs, education leave etc (these would be good for Dads too). The biggest advantage point would be to acknowledge that we women sometimes need to walk away from the field to take care of personal business like domesticity, pregnancy, toddler care, sickness or an aging parent. At this point we need appreciation for the social role that we play and of course we want to be taken back into the career field should we choose to.

I hope we women never feel pressured to perform to Alpha Mom or Beta career girl. We are mere mortal women trying to put butter on our slices of uneven bread.

I have never believed in the alpha male or beta career man. He has his own set of issues as well. We women have choices, but men have one choice, a comfortable one – of career alone.

I am respectful how Aamir Khan, is showing solidarity to the Narmada Bachao Aandolan, is he taking his persona from Rang De basanti to real life. The idealist! Fighting for the displaced. Fighting out against the dam, that is going to displace millions of poor tribals.

From what I gauge, here is an actor who is creating a niche for himself as one who acts out the hopes and dreams of India. Lagaan, Mangal Pandey, Rang De Basanti. Is this what he really feels about India, is he so passionate about India? This is anyone's guess. Narmada has a lot of beautiful faces amidst the confused and sad faces of the displaced.

This brings me to my question - Are celebrities qualified enough to support such causes which involve political-social-economic-humanitarian concerns? From my part EVERYONE is. The logic is simple I have never been to the Narmada, I haven't spent years reading about the agitation against the dam except for an article by Arundhati Roy. Yet with this current media barrage on the Narmada, I have formed an opinion that I blog about.

So if an actor is using his famous situation to stand up for a cause which is debatable, I think we should applaud him. For he thinks about what cause to stand up for. And from his trail of movies, there is a sort of patriotism, which makes me trust the guy.

On the one hand, it is seen as a war between modern, rational, progressive forces of 'Development' versus a sort of neo-Luddite impulse - an irrational, emotional 'Anti-Development' resistance, fuelled by an arcadian, pre-industrial dream.

Both interpretations put a tired spin on the dispute. Both stir up emotions that cloud the particular facts of this particular story. Both are indications of how urgently we need new heroes, new kinds of heroes, and how we've overused our old ones (like we overbowl our bowlers). - Arundhati Roy

Let me addd even actor Rahul Bose has been using his time for the cause of the dam and its leaders on hunger strike.




We've got our new heroes Arundhati! Aamir Khan and Rahul Bose to start with!

I also wish tha NBA leader Medha Patkar's struggle is fruitful. She is undoubtedly the heroine India needs now.

Salman Khan has for long been India's bad boy, ran his SUV into four people sleeping on a Mumbai pavement, hunted endangered antelope, he boasted of his underworld connections and terrified ex-girl friend Aishwarya Rai to participate in events sponsored by the underworld. But this is a guy is stud-boy himself.

On April 10, 2006, Salman was handed a five year jail term for hunting endangered Blackbuck. He is currently in Jodhpur jail, and will remain there at least until April 12, the first day that an appeal can be lodged.

He has been given bail!

This brings me to question the Indian Judicial system and the money power that rules our nation. It is easy for the rich to get bailable warrants. He is also involved in another court case over the killing of a pavement dweller.

No wonder the culture of corruption and power rule! Why is there no civic action against this man? Is the film going population so numb that we don't hold our actors responsible for their actions outside of screen. If your an actor, your a public figure, if your a public figure, you got to behave yourself. Not flaunt money and fame power. Of course I am all for flaunting those muscles.

He needs to be in jail, he needs disciplinary action by the film industry. That is my verdict! I for one will be boycotting all his films!


Bollywood Star Salman Khan Out on Bail!

We have a copy of the American Idol called Indian Idol in TV. I don't enjoy it. I think it spoils the mystique of the achievers. On TV you watch the humble-bowing chicken turn into a fashionable singer, whose body language changes through every episode until that victorius moment when he is proudly procalimed the INDIAN IDOL.

We all know artists/achievers, work hard, to cultivate their success. But honestly I don't like reality shows that show of how diligent and how lucky they get. I don't want to SMS, or CALL someone to their success. You get the hang of it.
Work hard, practice but not on stage, perform on stage. That makes you a classic celebrity and artist.

I've heard of Lata and Asha struggle and sing away their youth. But have I seen them scurrying around during their early days.NO! I know times have changed and the definition of success is more democratic, audience polls,internet votes, sms's and toll free calls, but I like "SUCCESS" old fashioned way - Toil while others are asleep.

The audience admiration for its idols waxes and wanes, but the discipline, confidance and determination that the idol has for him or herself will be enduring. Therefore a real success!

"India is the land of the Kamasutra" - the cliché many Indian actresses, actors and models use to justify their brazen sexiness on screen. We've been hearing it for so long now that we have taken it for granted - the sexual undertones, overtures and acting is taken as "natural". Yes we have the Kamasutra culture - but it was a treatise of conjugal sex and the art of foreplay. It was not a license to promote cheap sexual moves or brazen sex scenes.

And the beautiful Indian people especially the women see it as a pride to be considered a sex symbol.Now I am no puritan, I love being, feeling and looking sexy, in a way that is chic and aesthetic. But when I watch music videos and films , even when I flip through women's magazines. I squirm in my seat. That sexiness leaves me feeling like an odd ball and it looks misplaced on them. Watch closely fashion and film - it all boils down to cheap sizzling titillation! Why? I've asked myself once too many times. The reason is Indians are not used to being sexy, it is not a part of the social culture. Hence one has to be brazen to be sexy, it is not part of the routine.Unlike in the the legendry French culture!

So what is sexy? If you know Helen, Bollywood's yesteryear's cabaret artist you realize she is sexy without being a porn star. She carried of sexiness with elegance.So my Mom could watch those dances with her Mom way back in the 60's.This is something our movie stars and models lack today. I'll make the exception for a few models and actresses. Preity Zinta comes to mind. Let me not blame the stars and the models, but the dance and film directors with their cliché - this is what the masses want - Sex or something close to it.


What we need is the beautiful art of being sexy and feminine.It does look good on a techni-colour film screen or glossy magazine page. But I constantly find myself looking at skinny, toned, yet unsexy and unfeminine super models, who claim India is the land of the Kamasutra. I want to tell them read again. Sexiness is an art, a mind-set, it is in the body-language, not gyration of the hips.

From what I observe sexiness is portrayed as brazen or hidden, that is the Indian media's portrayal. Subtlety doesn't exist.

I spend a good part of my day travelling to and from work. For work I pass through an industrial belt of the city.Balanagar, Patancheru, if your familiar with Hyderabad. So my early mornings are filled with smog and sniffing chemcials and inhaling dust. This part of the city is ugly. Hyderabad is becoming increasingly ugly. How do we save Indian cities from turning into lanes choking with fumes and dust from speeding autorickshaws, overloaded buses and vehicles?

Autos will just whiz past without indicators, cars will drive fast, buses are the KINGS of the road. Pedestrians own the streets. Two wheelers beleive that they can squeeze past two lorries. There are no pavements on most roads. Your hardly find police men at traffic signals. So a traffic jam is definitely on your daily toast. You'd find pavements only in the swanky parts of the city.


What is the road culture of Indian cities? There is hardly a road culture, in most Indian cities. Delhi is doing better because they have so many flyovers and the new metro to boost of. I have travelled in the Metro and it is good!! We need that kind of a commuting here in Hyderabad. Unfortuantely the MMTS MultiModal Transport System (The local mass transit using train lines) isn't doing well. After all it connects only the fringes of the city.

It surprises me after living all my life in Hyderabad that two offending drivers will stop their vehicles in the middle of the street and start to abuse each other, whist a traffic jam is brewing right there. No hand indications!!

We need to get back a road culture if not it's going to choke us down. Get out the urban and family planners to restore decent road culture.

What is the road culture of your city?

I watched Being Cyrus over the weekend. This movie imitated French-style art film. My mind leans towards not liking the movie too much.However, something about it,sticks to my mind.

The psycho-thriller was full of psycho babble by all characters whose deep thoughts were aborted by the Script writer or the Director. Whoever, bad mistake, deep character for a deep dark movie.

What was it about the "Hutch" (mobile network)in the movie. You could make out the pointed self-advertising in the movie. How could you ever miss the Hutch puppy, wich pisses on the car of one of the characters? I know Hutch must have given in some moolah to make the movie, but don’t sell yourself via a movie that is trying to deliver a strong story. The bloody market drives the movie.

Saif looked hot!!!! He's getting rave reviews for his performance (he sort of deserves it), Dimple was good too. Boman Irani average. Naseer, his character doesn't warrant acting just behaving eccentric. Behaving doesn't qualify as acting.

The picture did one good thing by being made; it highlighted the darker side of the dwindling Parsi community in India, more so Mumbai. The treatment of the aged, the waning fortunes of the once rich community, the incesteousness and famed eccentricity.The Director is Parsi ofcourse.

I watched the movie at the Prasad's Multiplex in Hyderabad. Gotto love the multiplex.

I loved the way Dimple dialogues –

Dinshaw you bloody idiot

. You realize she doesn’t respect or love the man. There starts the movie.

Earlier titled Akoori, Being Cyrus is the directorial debut of Homi Adajania and also Saif Ali Khan's first film in English. Being Cyrus is a psychological drama with unusual characterizations.

The story revolves around a Parsi family, Sethnas residing in the hills of Panchgani. A retired sculptor Dinshaw (Naseeruddin Shah) heads the family. Other members of the joint family comprise of Dinshaw's wife Katy (Dimple Kapadia), brother Farokh (Boman Irani), sister-in-law Tina (Simone Singh) and second brother Fardoonjee (Honey Chhaya).

Then arrives Cyrus (Saif Ali Khan) at the Sethna house and stays on.

As the movie proceeds it gains a psychological insight into the family and reveals that everything is not all right with the Sethna family. Not just that, even Cyrus comes across as a bizarre personality.

Made under the banner of Times Infotainment Media Limited, Being Cyrus is produced by Ambika Hinduja, Dinesh Vijan, Raman Macker and Munnish Puri.